Relationship Therapy

Relationship Retrieval by Mary Ellen Connett, M.S., LMFT

I call my signature method of Relationship Therapy “Relationship Retrieval.” Whether the relationship you want to retrieve is with yourself and/or your marital or intimate partner, here’s what you can expect as we work together.

First, we complete an initial assessment and make a plan, which can include intensive therapy coaching or day-long intensives, to accomplish your personalized goals.

Then, I guide you through “Retrieval” a four stage process: Rescue, Revive, Recover, Rebuild. The foundation for all four stages of transformation is Respect -an essential element for healing.

In the first stage of Rescue, we acknowledge the parts of your relationship that have been injured, drowning or may actually be dying. Rescuing a relationship is nothing short of a miracle. And the miracle needed is a change in perception. It requires a spiritual letting go of the power struggle between you and another or you and your true self. And, the concepts of “right” and “wrong” need to be tossed out, too. From here, we travel into the “unknown.” But remember, I’m here with you and for you; and I have traveled many a thousand miles along this journey.

In Revive, we actually resuscitate or bring life or consciousness back to your relationship or circumstance. You will no longer be sleepwalking through your life. You will see things in vivid color and have the support and encouragement you need to set clear intentions and keep moving forward in healing. This coaching personalized seminar is custom to you and your needs so you can truly experience growth, acceptance, and self-love.

In the Recover stage, we get back what was lost – aspects of your relationship with self, spouse, partner, or life path. There will be grieving and you will be encouraged to share this process maybe for the first time through a special therapy coaching retreat. It is cleansing and healing to do this. You will feel lighter and your burdens will be lifted to a place of hope and possibility.

Rebuild is the stage of making the extensive repairs to restore functionality to your relationship and your life, and insure you succeed and flourish over the long haul. It’s common at this stage to realize you don’t ever want to return to the relationship you once had. We take your strengths and use them to reinforce a new foundation. Rebuilding a relationship is like rebuilding a house. You’ll decide the size, dimensions, rooms, fixtures and landscaping, so to speak. I’ll be your architect and builder. I can tell you what works and what doesn’t based on 40 years of the best research on marriage from the Gottman Institute. And I’ll add my own professional touches based on my 34 years of experience helping women, men and couples build relationships that not only succeed but flourish with spiritual meaning, joy and life purpose.

To guide you successfully through these four stages, I will help you cultivate and maintain mutual Respect, a willingness to feel and show genuine love, honor, appreciation and consideration for one another in guided therapy. This style of relationship will become your new normal from now on.

If there have been betrayals of any kind, we put a prevention plan in place so you don’t ever have to repeat the destructive patterns that led to the betrayal, broken trust and life crisis.

How long does it take to “Retrieve” a Relationship?

The time you spend with me in therapy depends on several things:

• the complexity of your situation
• whether trust is severed
• how long the problems have existed
• if there is any addictive behavior that needs attention
• any background influences that have not been resolved or healed
• the strength of your commitment to work on changing yourself, your life and your relationships both in our sessions and between sessions
• practicing the “new” behaviors I recommend and assign as homework
• any additional reading you do on your problem areas

The therapy I offer is in depth and intended to transform and heal your life and your relationships. I will make a recommendation on a number of sessions based on your therapeutic goals. Couples have the option of scheduling 1, 2 or 3 hour sessions (shortterm or day-long) depending on their level of commitment and sometimes travel logistics. Some couples prefer the privacy and intimacy of the Farmhouse setting where they can schedule a longer session and enjoy the serenity of a meditative nature walk before, during a break or after their 2 or 3 hour session.

I can incorporate Energy Psychology into your session, a method which by-passes much of the spoken word and works with the energy systems of the mind and body to bring rapid change. Energy Psychology methods have been shown to be highly effective for the treatment of trauma, anxiety, depression, and highly resistant self-defeating patterns, obsessions and compulsions.

Call me today to begin Retrieving Your Relationship! Taking this first step brings such relief and hope to troubled individuals, marriages and committed couples. I’m looking forward to the journey with you!